


Of Cleaning Sprees and Overdue Conversations

by NicePumpkinSpice



Series: Of Sweet Memories and Guarded Moments [27]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst and Catharsis, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePumpkinSpice/pseuds/NicePumpkinSpice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen awakens to find his office immaculate.  That can only mean one thing - Evelyn is furious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Cleaning Sprees and Overdue Conversations

Cullen awoke on the sofa to find his neck stiff and his sword arm completely numb. It was too dark to see much of the room. Although his legs were still sore and shaky, Cullen stood and felt his way to his desk then lit a candle. Evelyn wasn’t there any longer although she certainly had been. She had mentioned to him once that she sometimes went into cleaning frenzies when she was upset. If the state of his office was any indicator, Evelyn was exceptionally pissed. The papers on his desk were arranged into neat, prioritized piles. The floor was swept, shelves dusted (and alphabetized by subject and then author), and the room smelled faintly of lemon. His armor was polished and hanging on its stand. Opening his desk drawers, Cullen saw that she had arranged the contents according to use and size.

He was about to head up the ladder to his bedroom when he caught sight of an package laying on his desk. Picking it up, he saw a note attached to it in Evelyn’s neat script asking him not to open it until she was there. _Well, she must be planning on talking to me again if she wants me to wait to open it._ He felt like a complete ass and was honestly surprised that she wanted anything more to do with him. Rubbing the back of his neck, he took the candle and went up to his bedroom.

Evelyn’s cleaning catharsis had extended to his bedroom as well. Everything in the room was spotless and tidy - except for his bed which held an Evelyn-sized lump. He debated whether to wake her, return to the sofa, or slide in beside her. Each option had its pros and cons. Waking Evelyn was rarely a good idea. She had so much difficulty falling asleep that she could be very nasty/borderline dangerous if you roused her. He did need to talk to her, though. Heading back to the sofa seemed the safest bet, but it was incredibly uncomfortable. Slipping into bed beside her would be nice. She always cuddled close to him and made adorable sounds when she was resting. But he couldn’t presume that she would _want_ him there - especially with the way he acted. So he simply stood candle in hand watching her and trying to decide what to do.

“Are you just going to stand there?” came a grouchy voice from the lump in his bed.

“Yes... I mean no.... I mean I don’t know. Maker’s breath, just tell me what to do.” Cullen sputtered.

The lump groaned, threw back some of the covers, and patted the mattress beside it. Cullen took that as a good sign and crawled in bed. He reached out toward the lump, but Evelyn growled, “I’m still angry at you.” He pulled his arms back in response, but that wasn’t right either. “I didn’t say that I didn’t want you to hold me.” Cullen put a tentative arm around the angry lump and whispered, “Ev, I’m so sorry.” Evelyn harrumphed but moved closer to him.

Cullen laid still holding both Evelyn and his breath. He was feeling too tired and scared to argue. His body and mind were still reeling with withdrawal, but he felt like he needed to say something. He measured his words and spoke haltingly, “Thank you for throwing out the lyrium ... and taking care of me and... cleaning up everything and...not leaving.”

Evelyn made a disgusted noise but kissed his neck. Cullen wasn’t sure what she meant, but she _was_ still there beside him. He ran his hand up her back and toyed with her hair. She didn’t pull away and instead began to play with the medallion on his neck but remained uncharacteristically quiet. “I love you. You know that - right?” he said finally. She let out an exasperated huff and then sat up.

Pressing both of her hands hard against his chest, Evelyn gave him a fierce glare then said, “I’m done thinking and talking for now. We _will_ discuss this tomorrow.”

Cullen knew that he should stay quiet. Evelyn was obviously exhausted and angry. He was embarrassed about his near relapse and worried what she thought about him, about _them_. A smart man would just hold her and his tongue. Cullen felt like anything but a smart man after the day’s events, so he went with what his heart was urging and started talking.

“Evelyn, please listen. My father always cautioned me to never go to bed angry with the woman you loved. If you knew what a spitfire my mother is, you would know how much of a challenge that could be for him. I remember nights when I could hear them talking to each other in the kitchen. Sometimes it would get heated, but they never stopped speaking. It never worried me much because I knew that when I got up in the morning, Pop would be helping Mama get breakfast made and sneaking kisses when he thought no one was looking.”

“I’m not making you breakfast.” Evelyn said flatly. She flicked her wrist and lit all the candles in the room. “But I’ll talk if you insist. I can’t promise that I’ll be nice, though. I am really pissed. I rode hard to get here early to surprise you. Snuck into Skyhold to bathe and primp for you. Put a dress on for you. Wore my hair down for you. Skipped the small clothes for you. Brought food and a present here for you. And then you... you go and act like... like a complete _templar_.”

Cullen’s ears had perked at the mention of no smalls, and it took a great deal of willpower not to reach down and confirm what she said. “I’m sorry. I purposefully ignored the warning signs because I was tired of being an addict. I just wanted to be able to live like I had before that first draught. And if you hadn’t come when you did, I would have been back taking it.”

“You were a complete moron pushing yourself so hard. What were you thinking?” she asked but didn’t give him time to answer before continuing, “I can’t compete with lyrium and the Order. I lost Kevin to them, and I’m terrified that I will lose you, too.” By the time she finished the sentence, Evelyn was shaking and had started to cry.

“I’m not a Templar any longer.” he said repeating the mantra that he so wanted to be true.

Evelyn’s tears turned to fury. She jumped out of bed and pointed an accusing finger at Cullen. “Not a Templar any longer? Explain why you winced when I lit the candles a few minutes ago. Tell me why you grabbed my wrist and said, “No magic.” earlier tonight when I tried to heal you. You at least have the option to quit the Templars and stop taking the lyrium.” She started to glow and spark with magic. “This is who I am. A mage. Cursed by the Maker. No amount of wishing or willpower will ever make me any other way.” 

With a shrug, she dispelled the magic swirling around her and turned away from him. “From the time the magic surfaced, I have had one desire - to be normal. Now I’m not only a mage, but I’m a mage with this.” she extended the marked hand before her. “I have to accept that I’ll never be normal, and if we are to stay together you have to accept that, too. I’m done avoiding using magic in your presence. I won’t use it on _you_ without your permission, but I will no longer hold back who I am.”

Cullen started to reply, but she held up a hand to let him know that she wasn’t finished speaking. “And I know that mages did terrible things to you. And that you have every reason to fear magic - to fear me. But you need to understand that I have every reason to be terrified of you or at least what you were.” 

She squared her shoulders and looked at him pointedly. “You asked why so few mages made it out of Ostwick? The Knight Commander told us that he would protect us even after the College of Enchanters voted to disband the Circles. Do you know what he did that night? He sent his Templars through the mages’ quarters to kill them as they slept.” 

“And that is how insomnia saved your life - isn’t it?” Cullen said as the cruel reality of her world hit him.

She nodded. “I could tell you other things the Templars did to us before that night, but I’m sure you already know. You were at Kirkwall after all. The ‘bad’ Templars do as they please, and the ‘good’ ones get to congratulate themselves for being so much better than their peers. In case you wondered, Cullen, ignoring evil is just as bad as committing it.”

At that point, Cullen began to doubt the wisdom of his father’s advice. He had never seen Evelyn so enraged, but then he realized that venom and hurt had been there all along. She had just kept it neatly tucked behind an emotional wall. He wasn’t sure if she was finished speaking, but he thought that he should say something.

“Ev, I know that you’re a mage.” _Brilliant start, way to state the obvious._ he thought. “I might react poorly to magic out of habit, but I have no fear of you. I can’t change what has happened to us in the past, but you need never fear me.” _Right because Templars never lied to her. Why should she believe you any more than them?_ “I had begun to change my views on magic after Kirkwall, but it is knowing and loving you that has completely upended my beliefs. I wouldn’t want you to be normal even if you could. I like you, _love_ you... every detail. Your bright smile, your obsessive need for order, your kind heart, your bizarre hang ups, your determination, your grumpiness in the mornings, your selflessness, your magic... all of it. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Really?” she asked in genuine disbelief.

“Really.” he said with absolute sincerity. Cullen knew that he should stop there and enjoy their detente, but he was dying to know. With twinkling eyes and a sly smirk, he ventured to ask, “Are you really not wearing any smalls?”

She picked up a pillow and threw it at him. “You may not be a Templar any longer, but you can still be an absolute ass.” She paused and then extended her hand to him, “Come on. I bought something for you in Valence.”

Cullen followed her down the ladder relishing the rustle of the fabric of her dress, the scent trail of her perfumed hair, and the swish of her hips as she walked to his desk to retrieve the present. _Sweet Andraste, she is intoxicating._

“Leliana told me that Solona Amell liked to go shopping when she felt overwhelmed. So after a very trying morning in Valence, we hit the stores... hard. I found a present for everyone easily - except you. Then I thought of something you might like. Go on... open it.”

Cullen felt awkward accepting a gift after all that had transpired that night, but the look on Evelyn’s face told him that she would be severely disappointed if he didn’t unwrap it. He pulled away the brown paper and stared at the painting before him. It was an exact rendering of the dock and pond in Honnleath. 

“I had to describe it to the painter. I hope I got the details correct. I know that you went there as a child when things got too much. I thought if you kept the picture on your desk, you might be able to find peace here, too.”

“It’s perfect. I don’t know how you remembered it so well. Thank you. This is... this is just unbelievable.”

She beamed brightly, “I’m so happy you like it. And I was telling the truth.” 

“The truth? About what?” he asked.

“About not wearing smalls.” she said with an impish grin and a seductively raised eyebrow.


End file.
